Why You Should Stop Trying to Be Everyone’s Cup of Tea—From a Las Vegas Doula

A heartfelt message from a Las Vegas Doula on the importance of alignment, boundaries, and calling in the sacred work of birth.

Let’s get something out of the way:

You’re not a coffee shop.

You don’t need to offer oat milk, half-caf vanilla, or a cozy drive-thru just to please everyone who walks through your doors.

But in the world of birth work, it’s easy to fall into that trap—trying to be the “yes” person.

“Yes, I can take that client.”

“Yes, I support all kinds of births.”

“Yes, I can do hospital, home, birth center, unassisted, VBAC, planned cesarean, twin breech water birth on a full moon with aromatherapy and a PowerPoint presentation.”

“Yes, I’ll bend a little here, stretch a little there, shift who I am to fit what you need.”

And before you know it, you’ve said yes to so many things that you’re no longer showing up as yourself.

And while variety is beautiful, clarity is better.

Clarity says: “I know who I am. I know what I bring. And I want to be deeply present for the people who truly resonate with this calling.”

🌿 When You Try to Serve Everyone, You Serve No One Well

Birth is sacred. It’s not a job to be filled or a slot on your calendar. It’s not a stage for performing flexibility or proving your worth as a doula, birthkeeper, or midwife, etc.

It’s intimate, raw, holy ground—and the people in the room matter.

Not just because of what they know or offer, but because of who they are, how they hold space, and whether they belong in that moment with that mother.

When we try to be everything to everyone, we end up offering a watered-down version of what makes us actually helpful. Serving everyone often turns into diluting your deepest gifts. You weren’t made to mold yourself into a version of care that drains your soul.The deep reverence of birth work comes from alignment, not appeasement.

🤍 Boundaries Protect the Peace (For Everyone)

Saying no to a client—or stepping back from a situation that doesn’t feel aligned—isn’t about the other person. It’s not about being harsh, flaky, or exclusive.

It’s about being honest.

It’s about knowing your own capacity.

It’s about protecting the energy you bring into the birth space, so you can show up fully present and deeply grounded for the people you’re truly meant to serve.

Boundaries are not rejection.

They are clarity. They are kindness. They are peacekeeping.

And that peace doesn’t just benefit you—it benefits the mother, the baby, the whole flow of the room. When everyone is in the right place with the right people, there’s less resistance. More ease. More safety. More flow.

🕊️ It Goes Both Ways

This isn’t just about birth workers.

Mamas, hear this too:

You don’t have to say yes to the first doula you meet. Or hire a midwife just because she’s available.

You deserve to be choosy.

You deserve to feel seen.

You don’t need someone who just fits your budget.

You deserve to say, “That’s not quite the energy I want beside me when I’m roaring or weeping or praying through labor.”

Don’t pick someone just because they’re good.

Pick someone because they’re good for you.This is the person who will stand at the gate of life with you.

✨ When It’s a True Fit, You Feel It

You know that feeling when you’re around someone and you exhale without realizing it? That’s the feeling you want with your birth team.

Conversations flow.

Trust builds.

You’re not performing or walking on eggshells. You feel safe. Supported. Held. And from that place, birth unfolds in a way that feels less like managing and more like remembering—remembering who you are and what you’re capable of.

Here’s the truth we forget sometimes:Just because someone inquires doesn’t mean you’re obligated to say yes. And just because someone is available doesn’t mean they’re the right person to walk this road with you.

It is honorable and wise for birth workers to say:

“This birth space deserves my full heart. If I can’t offer that for any reason, I will gently step aside.”

And it is equally honorable for mothers to say:

“Thank you for your time, but I need to find someone who feels like home.”

When both sides honor themselves, the result is something beautiful: a birth team built not out of obligation or scarcity, but out of truth, alignment, and deep mutual respect

🤎 Final Thoughts from the Birth Room

Whether you’re a doula, midwife, birthkeeper, or mother:

You don’t have to fit into every birth. You don’t have to say yes to everyone.

And that’s not selfish—it’s wise.

The birth space doesn’t need more shapeshifting.

It needs more presence. More honesty. More alignment.

As a birth worker, I’ve learned this the slow, soul-stretching way: Saying yes to everyone is a fast track to burnout and blurry boundaries. But when I say yes to the right people—the ones who light up when I speak, who breathe easier when I walk into the room—that’s where the sacred work happens.

So whether you're a mama looking for your village, or a birthkeeper trying to find your rhythm, remember:

You're not a coffee shop. You don’t need to serve everyone. You just need to show up fully for the ones you're called to. You’re a person—with a role and gifts that’s not meant to be mass-produced.

And that, dear reader, is more than enough.

✨Share this with a fellow doula or mama who might need this reminder.

Written by Hannah Marozik, Las Vegas Doula, Birth Guardian, Birth Photographer and sacred space holder at Wild Grace Collective.